Eid, Salami, and Law Enforcement - our men behind the badges

humour

Eid, Salami, and Law Enforcement

Faizul Khan Tanim shares his personal accounts of cop-troubles in the city

I remember during our childhood the spirit of Eid started with ‘Eidi’ or ‘Eid Salami’ (a token money or gift). We would wait for that special moment during the morning of Eid day when our elders would give us Eidi in exchange of the loudest Salam. Elder cousins said that while giving the salam, the more you can kneel and show your respect the bigger the notes that will come your way. And so, back then, it was a replication of the modern-day game ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ in smaller denominations of course.

Now that we have grown up and as the hunters have become the hunted, we realise that this same technique to derive Eid salami exists in our police force and the only difference is that theirs can be termed as forcible acquisition or extortion. So in this not-so-green and political turmoil filled Bangladesh, police patrolling in alleys and lanes, inspections on the main roads rise especially during Eid time and this year has not been an exception.

Our cops are charging the bus/cng auto-rickshaws/cab drivers and some passengers as well. For example, a few days back on my way back home, there was a huge rush just before iftar on Bijoy Shoroni and the driver of the cng auto I was in, decided to take me home so that I can break my fast properly and so he revved up his engines and speeded a little more than usual as the green light was on. Our sergeants in expensive brand Police sunglasses, using the latest Nokia cell phones made no mistake and asked the vehicle to stop. The driver goes, "Boss ki dosh korlam? Ami to signal ta paar korte chaisilam noile to aro 25 minute atkaya diten" (Boss, what wrong have I done? I tried to cross this red light this time as I would otherwise have to wait another 25 minutes for the next green signal). The driver was then taken outside and a sum of Tk 500 was forced out of his pocket. The driver came back to his driving seat grumbling, “Shala khali oderee Eid? Amgor kono Eid nai? (Is Eid only for them? Isn't there any Eid for us?”). He then explained that the original fine was Tk 300 but as he brought out the bigger note hoping to get a change, the other sergeants commanded: “Puratai raikha jaa, bal bachha loiya Eid korum to” (give us the full 500 as we have to do Eid with our family).

Now this is very common in this country. As common as facts like 'The crows will caw' and 'The dogs will bark' and etc. etc.

And not just Eid, our brothers-with-arms misuses their fire power at their own sweet will and their height of extortion reaches during the dark hours and one will be able to see bigger police smiles.

This took place near Gulshan-1-Tejgaon Shooting Club at around 12:15 am while I was walking and enjoying the quiet night life of Dhaka. A man was caught who was in no shape to drive because apparently he indulged in drinks harder than regular soft fizzes and his jaywalking reminisced the glorious character Devdas which was quite entertaining and commendable. So with his unsteady gait and loud singing, 'Ghar se nikal tehiiii...kuch dur chaltehiiii...raste mein hein uska ghar..HIKKK!!! (a large hiccup)', he was stopped by a pack of policemen.

“Oi mia ato rait biraite koi jao? Basha bari ghor bou bachha nai? Thako koi?” (What are you doing out here past midnight? Do you not have home and family? Where is your residence?”) one of the officers bombarded the funny man with questions.

“Ji boss barit jaitasi bhashon shunbar (I'm going home to a lecture”), the man said.

“Eii rait er bela kon pagol e bhasahon dibo? (And which mad person is going to give a lecture at this hour?") the cop asked.

“Boss bou aar abba amma dibo karon matha ta ektu aulaise toh ("My wife and parents will since I am a little tipsy"), said the man.

The man was allowed to go but of course our guards in shining armour took a handsome amount of cash before releasing the man. Well at least the police pack was decent enough to get hold of a rickshaw, made the man climb up and set him off towards home sweet home.

Although these accounts sound funny but they are not really so. For example, only a few days back almost every newspaper published a picture where policemen were seen getting beaten up by members of a prohibited political party. And to my surprise, a group of cng auto rickshaw drivers on the street and then one of our peons were laughing and enjoying the news. The office peon told me, “Boss dekhsen police bedara mair khaise. Bhalo hoise...uchit shikhha hoise. Eii holud tholader shikhha dorkar – Boss just see this news, our cops are getting beaten up, and this is justice”.

In a 2001 BBC report, it was said that in the Bangladeshi police department four out of five officers have a criminal record.

In the same report it was mentioned “The figures - published in a national newspaper Daily Ittefaq - show that in the past five years 85,000 of the country's 100,000-strong police force have been punished for their involvement in criminal activities”.

Nearing the end of 2011, is it too much to ask as citizens of ''Digital Bangladesh'' to have safer roads from both muggers and cops?

I remember the cng auto-rickshaw driver’s words as I was getting down. “Bhai bolen to police to nana rokom hoy – thola police, holud police, bit police, mamu police. Eije jara amon koira amgor poysha loitese egorey ki kowa jay? (Brother, there are so many different types of police and so many different slang are used to define them, what would you call the ones who extort money from us?).” To that, I smirked and replied: Why not Eid Police?

*this article was first published in The Independent's weekend Magazine 26/08/2011 - http://www.theindependentbd.com/weekly-independent/67339-eid-salami-and-law-enforcement.html